Addressing the Pain of Abuse: A Call to Action

October 12th, 2023
by Michael Ryan Stotler

Scripture: 2 Samuel 13:1-19

In this difficult passage in the Bible, we see an account of the rape of a woman. Such passages are painful to read, and they should disturb us. This particular story, found in the life of David, is a vivid reminder that sexual abuse has always been wrong, even in biblical times. We explored the narrative of Tamar, the victim in this story, and how it reflects broader societal issues. The account of Tamar, although challenging, serves as a powerful platform for discussing a grave issue that is prevalent even today: abuse.

‌The Prevalence of Sexual and Domestic Abuse:

Sexual abuse is not a new problem; it has persisted throughout history and continues to affect countless lives. We began by acknowledging some alarming statistics that demonstrate the extent of this issue:

Every 73 seconds, someone in the United States is sexually assaulted.
1 in 5 women and 1 in 16 men in the United States have been raped at some point in their lives.
Approximately 44% of sexual assaults occur before the age of 18.
Two-thirds of all sexual assaults are committed by someone known to the victim.
Only 30% of sexual assaults are reported to the police, and a mere 6% of rapists are incarcerated.

‌

Domestic Abuse:

‌1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men in the United States have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
1 in 7 women and 1 in 25 men have been injured by an intimate partner.
Nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States.‌
Domestic abuse accounts for 15% of all violent crime.

The Role of Victim Blaming:

It is essential to emphasize that victim-blaming has been a recurring issue throughout history. Until recent decades, blaming the victim was more common and was not properly addressed. We highlighted the importance of not blaming the victim in any situation, as it is never acceptable.

Taking Responsibility:

As Christians, we must take responsibility for this problem and help those who suffer from abuse. It's not enough to say we'll pray for them and leave it at that; we must be willing to take action. Let's look at some practical steps we can take to actively support and help those affected by abuse:

Set Up a Time to Talk: Approach the person who you suspect is being abused or in an abusive situation and have an open, private conversation.
Be Supportive: Show empathy, understanding, and concern, letting them know you're there to help.
Safety Planning: Help them create a safety plan if they decide to leave the abusive situation, including where to go, important documents, and packing essentials.
Encourage Them to Seek Professional Help: Provide them with contact information for domestic violence agencies, the police, and support organizations.
Offer Specific Help: Offer assistance with childcare, transportation, or securing a new phone if needed.
Maintain Boundaries: Be supportive, but remember your own boundaries. Be a constant, stable presence in their life.

Addressing Abusers:

If you are an abusive person, it is vital that you recognize your actions and make the choice to seek help and stop causing harm to others. Abusing others is incompatible with Christian principles, and the church should not tolerate or condone such behavior.

Conclusion

As Christians, it's our responsibility to stand up against abuse, support victims, and not allow perpetrators to go unchecked. Abuse is not only a personal tragedy but also a societal problem that we must confront. Our ultimate goal is to create an environment where abuse is not tolerated, and every individual is valued and protected. We need to take action, provide support, and actively work to address this painful issue within our communities and beyond.